How I travelled with chemical sensitivities, chronic fatigue and anxiety

I did something last week that I haven't done successfully in a very long time, 9 years to be exact. I travelled interstate for a work trip / mini holiday and pushed myself way outside of my comfort zone. I wanted to share my experience in case there's anyone else out there wondering if they should take the leap too and give it a try. I know there are a lot of people who shop with us and follow my journey who are in a very similar situation, so if my experience can be a help to anyone, I am happy to share.

How bad are my chemical sensitivities?

This part is important. 15-20 years ago I was way too sensitive to have attempted this, and while I still have issues these days, they are far less severe. I can tolerate most things short term, but repeated exposure is not great and if I'm 'trapped', anxiety and panic attacks have been known to pop up. That said, here's how I planned my trip and how I worked through some serious emotional demons and came out the other side having a great trip with an overall positive experience.

How bad is my fatigue?

At my worst, and this was a long time ago now, I was housebound and when I showered, I sat on a plastic stool and my mother would have to wash my hair because I didn't have the energy to lift my arms above my head. Today, I run at around 40-50% capacity which is a vast improvement. If I don't do too much and schedule rests and proper sleep patterns, I'm good. If I was more vigilant, I'm sure I would be around 60-70%, but running a small business is a lot of work and I don't always have that luxury.

Choosing my accommodation

Here are the things that are important to me when choosing accommodation and I made sure that all boxes were ticked when selecting where I stayed (which ended up being the Phoenician Resort at Broadbeach)

It had to be close to the venue for the work conference so I could walk home when I needed a rest.
I need to be able to prep my own food.
I asked for a room with no carpet (and thankfully got it). I was not guaranteed this one when I booked. I took a gamble. The cheap synthetic carpet deodorisers some places use are just too overwhelming and in the past I have had to leave places and go somewhere else. If I can't get this one, I take my favourite essential oil blends and a diffuser to try and mask any smells that might be in the room as a result of the carpet.
I need plenty of ventilation to get fresh air in the living area and the bedroom I'm sleeping in. I had a massive sliding door to my living area, a big balcony, a massive sliding door on my bedroom and ceiling fans, so for my whole stay, fans on, doors open and I was fine.

Eating

Controlling what I eat is important to how I feel, so I picked somewhere with a full kitchen and was only 1 block from the supermarket and stocked the fridge the way I do at home. The funny thing was, as the week went on, I found so many great cafes and restaurants that could cater to my dietary needs that the only meal I had at home was breakfast. I ended up giving quite a lot of sealed food to the cleaning staff at the resort because I didn't eat it. When I go back next year, I will shop differently.

Indoor pool Phoenician Resort Broadbeach

Swimming

The resort had an outdoor and an indoor pool. There was some debate about whether they were chlorine or salt pools. There's chlorine in my shower at home (I don't filter it out at home), and I know salt water pools still have chlorine in them, but it's less and I have no issues swimming in them.

I swam in the outdoor pool twice with no real issue. The indoor pool was another thing. I went for a swim at 9pm one night, you know, just to live a little hahaha. The water was cooler than I wanted, so I went and jumped in the indoor pool which was so warm it felt like a bath. I could smell the chlorine as soon as I walked in. I got in anyway. At the time I wasn't a huge issue but the following day I was more sensitive to other smells around me. Thankfully it only lasted 24 hours. I will be mindful of this one in future.

Air-conditioning and fluoro lights

I spend almost all of my time working and living in natural light with fresh air and gentle indoor lighting. At the warehouse, we have big windows and skylights and almost never have to turn a light on in the place. When I stepped in to the conference, the super cold air-con and the bright fluoro lights hit me light a tonne of bricks. My first session was 4 hours and I got a headache. I rarely get headaches. The rest of the sessions were much shorter and I coped with those better. I went outside in the breaks for fresh air and natural light.

Flying

I don't have any anxiety issues when it comes to actually flying, in fact, it's kinda fun and I quite like it, especially that feeling of getting pushed back in to your seat as you take off. On the flight up, I was sitting next to an intuitive clinical hypnotherapist and we talked the whole way. Fascinating conversation and a great start to my trip. I'm not overly keen of the faint smell of aviation fuel in the food hall at Sydney airport and it does make eating a bit of a challenge for me. I'm not a fan of turbulence either, but it doesn't cause me a problem.

The big issue here I had was with Jetstar and their dreadful service when something goes wrong. This part I'm writing as a warning to others. I booked both legs of my flight with Jetstar. I will NEVER fly with them again. The flight up went without a hitch. The return flight home was different. The night before I was due to fly back, I got a text message to say my flight was cancelled and I was offered alternative times. My 12 noon flight was being replaced with either 7am of 6pm. Not great news, but it was workable.

The 7am filled up quickly so I got on the phone and tried to get a Brisbane to Sydney instead of a Gold Coast to Sydney flight. I was denied. If anyone from Jetstar reads this, that's a really shitty policy not to do an airport swap when it's a close one and you can't get me on a reasonable flight. I ended up choosing the 6pm and my warehouse manager and her partner kindly offered to drive to Sydney to pick me up from the airport.

A little under 2 hours before my flight was due to leave, the replacement flight got cancelled with no other options given to me to fly back. I was stuck on the Gold Coast on the first day of school holidays and the thought of trying to find somewhere to stay the night that was safe for me just sent me in to a tailspin. Finding ANY room was going to be hard. Finding one that fits my criteria, that I could afford, even harder. I just wanted to go home.

I met with the owner of one of our suppliers while I was away, Tracy from Green Essentials, and she lives up the mountain from the Gold Coast. We have been friends for a decade and she's one of the first suppliers I worked with back in 2009 when I started. I asked her if I was stuck, could she come get me and let me sleep on her couch and then drive me to Brisbane airport the next day so I could get home. All up, this would have meant about 5 hours in the car for her, and without hesitation, she said yes. The woman is a legend and if you're ever wondering what brand of something to buy in our store, and Green Essentials have one, pick that brand. She's one in a million.

By the time I got off the phone with her, my meltdown had subsided a little, but I really wanted to get home and I was seriously pissed off. I pulled out my phone, jumped on the Virgin website, booked a flight that cost me $750 (I'm so glad I have travel insurance) and managed to get home. But it was a long and traumatic day. I did get through it though without any major issues, so I'm super impressed with myself, especially with a mountain of other #firstworldproblems I encountered at the airport. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had issues like this.

Next time I travel, I'm flying Virgin. They were great.

How did I cope? Music. Thanks to the inflight entertainment, I whipped out my iPad and watched a Harry Styles BBC live concert and felt great by the time I got off the plane.

How did I deal with the anxiety?

I want to start by saying I don't take meds for anxiety. If you do, and it works for you, that's great. It's a personal choice and one you should discuss with your health care provider. My anxiety isn't consistent and it's only ever triggered by situations that make me feel unsafe from a health perspective so I prefer to manage it with planning and techniques to calm myself down.

When I arrived at Sydney airport, a wave of panic and anxiety set in. I had just been dropped off and I was travelling alone. I had a suitcase on wheels, but it was too heavy for me to lift and my backpack weighed 7kg because I was travelling with a laptop and an iPad for work and a few other things. I didn't have any conscious thoughts that I couldn't do any of this, but something deep down took me back to past experiences. I stopped, recognised the feelings for what they were, took a deep breath and did what I had to do. I managed to get down to the food hall where the smell of aviation fuel was unavoidable. I was exhausted from carrying the backpack and sat down for about 30 minutes with a banana I had with me (planning), popped in my headphones and listened to music to calm down. I did not physically have it in me to go and buy food at this point.

I'm a classically trained musician, and when I'm at home, my two main coping mechanisms are to play music , usually the piano, but I have other instruments I play too. The other thing I do is to pat my dog, but not only did I not have her with me, she sadly passed away from complications due to pneumonia just 3 days before I flew out, so my major touchstones weren't with me and I was still pretty upset about losing my little fur baby.

When I decided to travel I knew I needed to take something with me to scratch my creative itch and calm any anxiety I may get, so I took a kalimba with me. Ok, I took 2 different ones in case anyone wanted to play with me.

If you struggle to travel, I urge you to find your own touchstone and make sure you have it with you. You might keep a memento in your bag, play with a fidget spinner, do a sudoku puzzle, colour in, draw mandalas. Whatever it is that you do to calm down when you're anxious, make sure it's with you. I also keep a roller ball of frankincense essential oil in my bag and wear it as perfume. The scent just calms me. Do what works for you.

Exercise

This is always a rough one for me. I don't always recover well after exercise. I spent 8 days walking everywhere within a 3-4 block radius and all around a convention centre. By the end of it, little time in front of a computer and lots of time walking, I actually felt great by the end of it. There were days I scheduled a nap, but the 3 days of the conference I only napped once in the middle of the day and the trip home was more physical activity than I normally do in a week. I have spent all weekend doing very little to recover. I am going to make some adjustments now that I am home to keep this momentum up because I'm surprised that I got through it all and I felt much better for it. If you have fatigue issues, stress and anxiety makes it worse. Once I 'let go' and just leaned in to the relaxing, things really picked up in the energy department. I'm sure I was running on a bit of adrenaline with all the work at the conference.

How did I cope overall?

I will admit, the first couple of days were a struggle. Once I settled in, I actually really surprised myself. I ditched the 'prepare all your own food at home to cope' and started eating out. Broadbeach has some amazing restaurants and cafes. Gemelli Italian is spectacular, and their figs wrapped in prosciutto with a gorgonzola cream sauce was the best thing I've eaten in a very long time. I'm sure everyone knows this, but your brain and your gut are connected and if you're stressed your gut suffers. So when I was super chill and relaxed, I ate what I wanted with no issue. The night my flight got cancelled, I stressed out and barely had a bite.

There's a fine line between pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and pushing too far. I did a few big things with careful planning and a back stop if something were to go wrong, but I didn't call on these back stops. I handled everything on my own which I was really great. I have two more big events planned this year, but thankfully neither of them involve me getting on a plane, but they do involve overnight stays and travelling. I feel very prepared for them now.

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